Space Between the Lines

 

I have a pet peeve that apparently annoys no one but me. It has to do with the amount of space people leave between them and the person in line in front of them. Inside the bank, the post office or the Dunkin Donuts, the guy in front of me always seems to stand a good six feet behind the customer who is currently being waited on. It’s as if he is fearful of eavesdropping on a confession. Right, I tell the coffee shop cashier my deepest secrets. Don’t you?

“Move UP!” I want to scream. “He’s ordering a large coffee with cream and one sugar, not planning a hostile takeover!”

For years I have observed only men doing this. Women appear much more comfortable cozying up to the stranger standing in front or behind them. A couple of feet of space is more than enough. They don’t act like the male customers at CVS, for example, who allow so much wasted space between them and the person at the counter that I could push four shopping carts – ear to ear – through the space. And this reminds me. I really hate when this happens and I invariably get pushed back down an aisle, where I find myself staring at on-sale Christmas candy. Come on. You know I’m weak.

But lately, I have found that women have begun developing the same habit, backing off from the person in line in front of them, as though they forgot to bathe. Frequently, they are so preoccupied texting or talking on their cell phones that they are completely oblivious to the cavernous spaces they create.

Does anyone else see the irony in all of this? With social media, cell phones, and cameras on every inanimate and animate object, we already have zero privacy. So why do we suddenly feel the need to create a force field around us when we are actually WITH other human beings.

We hold onto our little personal acreage like squatters, forcing the person behind the counter to yell across the room, “Can I help the next in line?”

I hate this part, too.  I don’t want to yell from my otherworldly location, “Make that a double caramel latte with vanilla and non-fat.” Whose business is it to judge me on my breakfast drink? Hah, a double caramel latte with syrup and she bothers with skim milk! I can actually hear the snickers.

Well, I would, if I weren’t standing so far away.

 

 

 

13
Jan
2012

Book Signing Today in Peddler’s Village!!!

If you’re looking for something fun to do on this gorgeous Sunday, come to the Apple Festival at Peddler’s Village in Lahaska, PA. While you’re there, stop by the Canterbury Tales Book Store between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. and say hello. I’ll be signing my books, and munching on everything apple (including the world’s best chocolate covered apples!)

06
Nov
2011

Wedded Bliss

I used to think Salem, MA was only about witch hunts. Now I picture a gorgeous harbor teeming with gleaming boats, the house where Nathaniel Hawthorne was born, scrumptious and plentiful lobster rolls, and one glorious wedding weekend.

Lucky me. I got to attend the wedding of Morgan and Lindsay in the unique position of being a guest of both families. I’ve known the couple since before they began dating at 15, which was 11 years ago.  My son, who was best man, his girlfriend, and all his old high school buddies were there. I hate to throw around clichés like magical and spectacular. But honestly, that’s what the wedding was.

It was very untraditional. A magnificent Vera Wang bridal gown in a hue between ivory and butter yellow, and belted around the waist with a long black sash. A multi-tiered artistically rich wedding cake that was cut and put out on plates without any cake cutting ceremony.  No throwing of the bridal bouquet. No dancing until after we had finished our meals. (You could actually enjoy the food and talk to your table mates without screaming.) No tchotchkes on the table, just exquisite displays of yellow flowers.

With all the traditional wedding details avoided, the evening turned into one huge, outdoor party with a truly awesome band and a bridal couple that looked to thoroughly enjoy each and every minute, as well as each other.

Even the weather was perfect, and the venue remarkable. The wedding was held at the majestic Crane Estate. Picture a mini Versailles – maybe not so mini – in Ipswich, MA. The view from the slate patio where we partied for hours was of rolling green hills spilling into the ocean. It was dreamlike.

We boarded three big tour buses to go from our hotel in Salem to the estate so no one needed to drive. The party continued throughout the night with some hardy souls, most notably the bride and groom still dressed in their wedding attire, watching the sun come up. Amazingly the bride looked as gorgeous then as she did when she stepped onto the lawn with her parents.

I’ve spent much too much time today avoiding my work so I could look at the hundreds of pictures on Facebook and relive the wedding. I’m sure I’m not the only one doing this.

Morgan and Lindsay: I know you’re somewhere without Internet and still basking in the events of the past weekend. Just so you know, the rest of us are, too.

Love you guys.

02
Aug
2011

The Groom's Mom – In or Out?

Sometimes I think I may regret my career as a relationship expert, particularly as the author of my latest book, It’s Either Her or Me. I counsel mothers of brides and the brides themselves to include the mother of the groom in the wedding planning.

 I’ve been to too many weddings and bridal showers as the guest of the groom’s family to ignore the potential for a lot of hurt feelings.  Even seemingly minor exclusions can create bad thoughts that tend to sit there, simmering indefinitely like a pot with an endless supply of water.

But I also understand why mothers of brides might feel possessive, not wanting to share their daughter with another woman. I also have a daughter. When she gets married aren’t I going to want to spend time alone with her, helping her select the prettiest gown, the most flattering hair style, and the most breathtaking flowers?

I’ve been with her through every important event in her life; leaving her off at her first day of kindergarten, moving her in and out of dorm rooms and apartments, consoling her when she didn’t make a team, rejoicing with her when she got her first real job. No one shared those ups and downs with me so why do I have to share the happy moments ahead?

Relax. That’s rhetorical. Cause I do.

Including the groom’s mom in as much as she would like to be included matters because this is no longer about just me and my daughter. Marriage is the first life event for our daughters that takes them out of the restricted environment of family. It’s meant to be shared with another family. And it’s the first of many future life events (think grandchildren) that are.

I hope that one day when I become the mother of the bride that I will practice what I write. I know it will take effort and compromise and a thick skin. But I also believe it will be the right thing to do.

As you know, I also have a son.

27
Jun
2011

Book Talk at Borders for Father's Day

Looking for something to buy Dad for Father’s Day? I’ll be at the Borders in Bryn Mawr, PA on Saturday, June 18, 2011 from 4:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m.

Come chat with me about Dating for Dads. The Single Father’s Guide to Dating Well Without Parenting Poorly.

 If you’re a dad, come learn how to date while maintaining your wonderful, hard-earned relationship with your kids. If you’re a kid (whether 12 or 40) maybe Dad, his new significant other, and you can learn how to make this new development great for everyone.

And if you’re neither, come anyway. I’d love to meet you!

12
Jun
2011


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